Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
high people should be assigned attendants
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize