All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Ketchup is God's man juice
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
