Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
