remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
