Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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