the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
