so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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