i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
