He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
