somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
