she kept yelling 'call me bella'
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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