If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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