is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
