I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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