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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars

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• (323): View more from California

  Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  suggestion: become a stripper.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine

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• (415): View more from California

  I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.

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• (562): View more from California

  I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.

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