Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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