I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
