Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
