idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
