God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
