pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I want to make a zoo with you.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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