Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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