therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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