I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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