I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
