Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
