I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
