Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
