Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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