Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This baby is an asshole
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
