My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
