Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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