No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
this just has baby written all over it
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize