I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize
