Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
