Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize