WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
