that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
