she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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