does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i think my cat just said my name.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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