I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
