Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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