life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
