eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My life is pants optional.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
