I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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