At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
