epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
