I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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