I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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