I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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