OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize