You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Your cock deserves a montage
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
