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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?

  (917): View more from New York City

  what kind of party is this?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the best kind ever

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.

  Fav 3 1595 822

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.

  Fav 2 1363 588

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.

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• (310): View more from California

  Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.

  Fav 1 728 454

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.

  Fav 1 175 288

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• (206): View more from Washington

  too bad burritos don't cuddle back

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious

  (1-336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm all about the fuck

  Fav 0 105 14

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