You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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