the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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