you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
