She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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