Dual....:-)
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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