whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
