she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize