Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
