Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
