hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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