Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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