Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
3 2 1 whiskey
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
