I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
