yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just cropdusted the office
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
