They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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