so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
