she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
