what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
