porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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