So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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